Following Footsteps

This week we made our way from Phnom Penh, Cambodia’s Capital city where we have been for the past 3 months studying, to Siem Reap the second largest city in Cambodia and home of the world famous Angkor Wat temples for the beginning of the outreach portion of our DTS.

We boarded a bus at 8am in PP and headed on the 6 hour trip in style! We were blessed to travel on a Greyhound kind of bus with air conditioning and Khmer Kareoke. Khammarak Sari Mon is my new FAVE singer! He sings a song called “Khmer Wife” and it’s not wanting a “foreigner” wife because they are too tall, and their skin is too white. But what he really wants is a Khmer wife because she can cook and clean and handle money and take care of her husband. I just yell out KHMER WIFE and my Cambodian teammates start singing the song for me!! LOL!

We arrived in Siem Reap at about 2pm and found 3 tuk tuks that would take all 14 of us (and ALL our 3 months worth of luggage) to our new home…Puok, Siem Reap. Puok is a little village about 30 minutes from the city of Siem Reap where we will be joining up with a YWAM ministry that is teaching free English classes every day to between 150-250 kids collectively (we each teach one or two 1hr class(es) with 30-50 students in each. That’s A LOT of loving to do! We are VERY excited!

Our House/School in Puok

Srey Eun little munchkin!
Srey Keo, precious girl!
One of my students diligently writing the words to "Father Abraham"
This is my class. I have them every day from 11-12. Sweet gems they are!

We arrived on Saturday, had a “Kids Club” on Sunday where we played games with the kids and sang songs and just got to spend time with them, and then Monday our “real life” in Puok began.

Emily and I decided we were going to start jogging in the mornings. So Monday we got up at 5am and spent an hour in the kitchen drinking coffee have having some quiet time with the Big Man. At 6am it was still dark out so we waited and then at 615am we took off down the dirt road. We decided to go for 30 minutes to start…so wherever 15 minutes took us we would turn around and head home.

15 minutes got us to “our tree”. But there are no words to describe the scenery that we passed on the way. (So I added some pictures that I took this morning walking to the tree to show you!) I feel SOOO blessed that THIS is where we are beginning outreach! We are in the countryside, we are safe, we can run, and play, and witness Creation awaking each day in all its magnificent glory! WOW!

As we were running one day my attention turned to the dirt. Cambodia is one of the dustiest placed you can imagine. Usually dirt here is given a negative connotation. On this day though I was struck by all the footprints in the dirt that lay ahead of me as I ran. There were cow footprints, and duck footprints, water buffalo feet, and chicken scratches, dog paws, and toddler toes, there were tire treads from motos and bicycles and cars, and feet from kids on their way too school (some with shoes and some without). That’s A LOT of action for a dust filled country road. My mind then was taken to thinking about and considering the lives and stories behind all these footprints. Where were they going? Where were they coming from?! How were they feeling that day? What does an ordinary day look like for them? It is probably the History major in me, but my heart began to ask the questions behind their stories.

Footprints in the dust...

I believe there are many universals to the human condition. And one of the MOST important, I believe is the desire to be SEEN, to be recognized and noticed, to know that someone, something, somewhere KNOWS you and CARES about you. To know you are valued just for being alive.

I believe in the dust and the dirt of the Cambodian sunrise God gave me my vision and task for my time here in Puok. I want to know their stories, I want to hear about their lives, I want them to know that even though they are the poorest of the poor from a village most people of earth have never heard of and will never visit, they are VALUED and LOVED and CARED FOR.

We come from the dust and one day we will return, but in the space between I hope and pray that all of us are given the opportunity to share our stories, to be seen and valued, to be noticed and appreciated for just who we are and where we are at.

Thank you for being someone who shares in my story and my history and my life. Thank you for seeing me and hearing me and loving me so well!

Bless you and HUGS!

Ange

Cambodian Sunrise

Water buffalo

The path we run each morning. "Our tree" is way on the right!

Sunrise: How we see it every morning.

Words can't explain this scene.

My view from a hammock at Baray Lake on Independence Day!

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN WOMAN

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.
I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,.
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

Indulgences and Resolutions

in·dul·gence n

1. the gratification of or yielding to a wish

2. something that somebody lets himself or herself or somebody else have, especially a luxury

3. a kind or tolerant attitude toward somebody

4. in Roman Catholicism, a grant by the pope of partial remission of time to be spent in purgatory or of some other consequence of a sin.

5. time given to a debtor to repay a bill

“Legitimate pleasures”= noble, but not spirit enhancing things that we do to prove we are not religious. These things are not sinful in and of themselves, but neither do they enhance our life in the spirit. It is common to be overindulgent in natural permissible pleasures such as honor, recreation, food, comfort, and money. At the highest level of life the human spirit cannot be satisfied through natural stimuli, I believe this with every part of me.

A bad day cannot be satisfied by any amount of mini eggs (no matter how hard I might try!), a fight with a loved one is not made right by watching a hockey game(although we might find momentary amnesia), we seek things that offer us temporary distraction or menial satisfaction in the desperate hopes that the immediate feelings of consolation will remain lasting…but they never do.

We keep trying to prop up our souls with food, entertainment, recreation, money, music, activity, etc. Many of us are terrified at the thought of forsaking these stimulants and exposing the rawness of our hearts. Our spirits are dulled to the point that we are barely aware of the fleshly movements of our hearts. We have stuffed our souls.

My life 5 years ago looked very different than it does today. Indulgences, illegitimate, and “legitimate pleasures” were all consuming in my life. In order to avoid certain painful feelings, or in order to attempt to feel happiness and satisfaction I leaned heavily on stimulants. To put it really plainly I drank, a lot. In order that my habit of drinking would not feel lonely I would more often than not supplement drinking with relationships with boys. Needless to say this lethal duo of destruction caused it’s fair share of damage in my heart, mind, and soul over the 10 years or so that I overindulged.

When I met Jesus my life did a 180 degree turn. I was walking in one direction and turned about to head the other way. In the past 4 ½ years there have been slip ups and mistakes along the new path to be sure, but more or less my dependence on the affirmation and attention of boys, and on liquid courage have been quenched, PTL! However, in the past 4 ½ years my dependence on “illegitimate pleasures” such as drinking and men has been wholly replaced and redirected towards a shockingly unhealthy dependence on food. All the “bad” things I used to do to make myself temporarily feel better in life have been replaced with the “legitimate pleasure” of indulging in food.

Food is my god. Food is a large and obtrusive idol in my life. I trust food instead of trusting God. I lean on food instead of leaning on God. It is humiliating to even write these words. But I know the breakthrough behind the fact that The Truth WILL Set You FREE! As I shine light on the darkness of my life and my soul I can’t help but hold fast to the Truth that what is brought into the light will remain in the light!

As NEW YEAR’S EVE approaches we can’t help but be bombarded by the “Resolutions” and even the anti-resolutions! I am tired of RESOLUTIONS. You can’t fix externally what is broken internally. There are no resolutions that can end a bad habit, only a temporary supply of will-power and or stubbornness. I am sick of resolutions.

I am looking for TRANSFORMATION. I want to be TRANSFORMED. From the inside out.

In 6 days I am leaving for the “outreach phase” of my time here with YWAM. Phase 2, Outreach, TRANSFORMATION. I am believing for some MAJOR breakthroughs in the areas of food and pride in my life. I need help. I can’t do this on my own. I need the tender touch of the Spirit. I need prayer. I need to pray.

I am putting this out there into the great beyond of cyber space because I believe in the value of bringing light into the dark places of our lives, and because I know that I need love, encouragement, support and prayer. No amount of will power could ever do for me what the power of unity through friends and family can. Unity of heart, minds, and soul. TRANSFORMATION is the goal!

God bless you ALL this New Year. 2010. WOW!

I love you ALL.

A

Christmas Cambodian Style?!

The illusive hunt for a Christmas tree for the DTS house began one dusty Monday afternoon. I had been hounding the staff here since November 1st about getting our Christmas decorations out of storage (whatever that meant!) and finally on November 30th we headed out! As we traveled out of the city to where the storage unit was we passed this Christmas archway being transported down the road! It had ALL the decorations on it and they were just cruising down the highway...NO tie downs, NO worries! Welcome to Cambodia!

We got to the storage unit via MAMMOTH pot holes! They seriously looked like dirt bike jumps!

On the way home from picking up the DTS tree we stopped at the airport for DAIRY QUEEN! WOOHOO! While there was a slight temptation to jump on a plane back to the rain and Christmas overkill we found our way back to the base to START DECORATING!!!

When we started to unpack the tree it look great! Or maybe we were blinded by the EXCITEMENT! Our tree is the definition of "Charlie Brown" if you know what I mean! It needs to lean against the wall, it has no lights, only a few strings of tinsle and maybe 5 decorations...but it is a symbol of CHRISTMAS LOVE here in our home!!!

When I am REALLY missing home I head over to "City Mall" where they have BEAUTIFULLY decorated Christmas Trees! ;) Crazy white girl obsessively gets her pic with all the trees! Ha!

So Christmas is QUICKLY approaching...no one has told Cambodia! :)

Christmas is NOT a holiday that is celebrated in this officially Buddhist nation. For that reason even the Christians here at DTS do NOT think Christmas is a big deal. I do my best to hype up the big event, I even got the "secret santa" craze started...but they are still not great at the actual carrying out of the idea! We all picked a name out of the stocking Jaida and Jeremy sent me...the Cambodians think my stocking is a BIG SOCK! Hahahah! It definitely gets lost in translation!

This past weekend I have the HUGE privilege of joining the Weiss family for the Logos Elementary and High School Christmas Concerts. They were a precious taste of home! Lesley is a miracle worker. I continue to be BLOWN AWAY by her talent and fearless character. If she sees a need, she fills it. She came to Logos and not only organized a HUGE Chrstmas pagent for the Elementary kids, but also started a middle school band for the first time this year. Some of these kids had NEVER played an instrument before and on Saturday night they were playing worhsip songs and Christmas melodies into the Cambodian skies! It was SUCH a BLESSING to see! WOW!

The Weiss family continues to be a constant source of blessing and support for me. They keep me sane here in the insanity of Cambodia! Through the Weiss's I have learned what true Christian hospitality really is. They have opened their home and their lives for me to be a part of. I honestly cannot imagine what life here would have been like had I not had their family as a respite and escape from the high energy and emotions that fill our weeks here in the DTS house. The Weiss's home is a place for me to rest, catch up on school work, and adventure through Cambodia as the 6th member of their family! They take me to church, to the market, out to try new foods, let me do ALL my laundry all weekend, they feed me western food and they help refresh and restore me to face another week of intense school! They are my saving grace here in Phnom Penh. The more I spend time with them and the more I get to know about them and witness what their daily lives really look like here in PP I am simply in awe. They are INCREDIBLE. I wish I had better words to express all that I have learned from Dean and Les just from being in their presence, they are an AWESOME example for me of a family sold out to live their lives selflessly in service to the Lord. I am SO blessed by them. Words don't do it justice.

Last week I was given the great JOY of meeting Ricki! She is from Hong Kong and is in Cambodia for a month on a short term missions trip with her church. Last Wednesday night Ricki and I were each selected by our respective groups to share our individual testimonies with the combined teams. I went first and shared about my life before I knew Jesus, and how life has looked different since then, and how on earth I ended up here in Cambodia! Then it was Ricki's turn. When she shared her testimony I was blown away! We had SO many things in common! As she was sharing about her life I found myself nodding in agreement and understanding! After sharing time we had some snacks in another room waiting. Ricki approached me before heading up for snacks just to thank me for sharing so honestly in my testimony. She said she had been nervous and then when she heard how much we had in common she had courage to speak boldly about where she was at! That was a blessing to hear. Ricki and I ended up spending over 2 hours just sitting and chatting about our lives. Our families are very similar as well as many other relationships we have. It was an INCREDIBLE evening of connection and understanding. Ricki was definitely an angel for me that week which was spiritually dark and heavy. It's just SO encouraging to have someone walk in like a breath of fresh air just when you need some encouragement and love. I hope I can be that for someone else like Ricki was for me!

So that is the "update". I will write again soon to let you all know WHAT I have been learning lately. It has been INTENSE and EXHAUSTING, but SO good. We are ALL being refined and reformed and transformed. It's a painstaking process, but I know in the end it will ALL be worth it!

Prayer and Happy Thoughts for:

Outreach: Each member of my India Outreach Team needs to raise $900 in support in order to get to India. For us International Students that means an added $400 to come up with and for our Khmer classmates $900 is seeming like an insurmountable and impossible task.

Please pray for donations to come flooding in (from the West and from here in Cambodia) The problem is that many of the churches here in Cambodia want their Cambodian missionaries to STAY here in Cambodia and will not support them financially in going out. Super sad!

So if you know anyone who might want to donate to their outreach please let me know!

Also we are just hoping for STRONG team unity and clear direction and vision for our trip as the final plans with regards to India are still being planned.

THANK YOU!

BLESSINGS! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

A

My Little Family: A Tribute

Hey All!

It's SO hard to believe that we JUST completed WEEK 8 of our Lecture Phase and only have this week and ONE more week before we enter into preparations for our 3 months of OUTREACH!

It has been UP and DOWN in SO many ways! I'll tell you this much...DTS has a way of pushing buttons and digging places that NONE of us ever intended to remind ourselves of, or even knew were in there! It has been challenging, and emotional, and testing, and SOOOOOOO rewarding!

I have learned SOOOO much about myself and why/how I relate to the world and my family, and friends, and the people in my life. I have been seriously checked on my selfishness and pride (which I have talked about here MANY times already!) but I can also see that as those negative aspects of my character have been noticed and acknowledged and brought into the light they have begun to disapate, ever so slowly, but I can FEEL the change in myself and my reactions and proactions with my family here in DTS.

In my time here I have been through various ailments, measles, my first migraine, and stomach troubles adjusting to the water and food (new bacteria etc.) But I can say this much, the SUPPORT and ENCOURAGEMENT and LOVE I have received from home in Canada and the States and here in Cambodia have CONSTANTLY touched my heart and restored my spirits and energy.

I am HAPPY to say that I am feeling GREAT tonight! Maybe because I spent ALL DAY talking about Christmas and now I am sitting here listening to the Christmas CD Jamie made me...my heart is FILLED with JOY.

The most difficult part of being away is uncomparably being separated from my family. No question.

Watching Jaida and Jeremy grow and learn SOO SOOO many new things over Skype breaks my heart sometimes. Going from being a part of their EVERY SINGLE DAY to making computer connections a few times a week has been a heart-wrenching transition for me. They have changed SO much. And there are more changes to come...

In case some of you have not heard already God has been leading the Phelps family on a new pathway for a while, for the sake of baby Jeremy's health.

Cassi Born-Phelps is my ANGEL. God BLESSED my life with her friendship and sisterhood 4 years ago. We have been inseparable...mucking through the mess of our lives, rejoicing the triumphs, and celebrating the lives of two precious babies Jaida and Jeremy. Cass's husband Joel has become my brother, my spiritual advisor, and my teammate in life (we are very similar and like MANY of the same things!)

The Phelps have become a HUGE HUGE part of the Booy family in the past 4 years. Cass and Joel have made a tradition of coming over to my parent's house on Sundays for family dinner and football or Amazing Race or lounging by the pool. The babies have become Hen and Bren's grandkids. Josh has become their uncle, Niesje has become Auntie Neesh, and of course I am the nanny/auntie/Annie.

There are not words to express how precious and SPECIAL this family is. Each and EVERY one of these 4 has been given gifts beyond compare:

Joel can talk to ANYONE ANYWHERE! His smile and eyes are SO welcoming that you can't help but want to talk to him! And Joel's laugh is one of the BEST sounds I have ever heard! It can thaw even the crustiest soul! He LOVES the Lord and his dedication and commitment to his faith is challenging and inspiring to me each and every day! Joel is LIVING PROOF that there are INCREDIBLE FAITHFUL COMMITED LOYAL LOVING men out there!

Cass is a stranger magnet! People see her and WANT to know her. She was made to be a Mom. I am continually blown away that she has TWO babies and still manages to make stockings for Christmas, jar pickles with her sisters, and head all over the countryside to visit friends and shine some light into people's lives. Cass is my funny friend. Cass is the glue that keeps all us girls together. She is THE most selfless and thoughtful person I have ever met, and if I can be even just a whisper of the woman of God she is I would die very happy! God had something VERY unique in mind when He placed Cass in my life. As we grow together in our lives and in our faith I am just time and time again BLESSED beyond words and infinitely thankful to have her in my life. Her hugs warm my soul. Her laugh brings JOY into my heart. Her heart overflows with love and it's contagious. My best friend. My angel. My girl.

Jaida Lynn...(I feel like I am writing a Hallmark card, if you know what I mean! ;)) is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. From the moment I met her my life was CHANGED. There are no babies in my family, AT ALL (yet Mom! ;)) so meeting Jaida Lynn on June 3, 2007 was a scary and life transforming experience. I had NO IDEA it was humanly possible to LOVE someone as much as I loved her the first time I saw her. From that day on I have watched her grow into the most beautiful and precious little girl on the planet. She sings Jingle Bells to me on Skype now! I have had the IMMENSE honour of being in her life for the past 2 1/2 years. Each and every day she brings smiles, hysterical laughter, and LOVE. Jaida's hugs are like NO other! When a person is that small they can't FAKE meaning. When she HUGS me and means it I feel like evrything in time stops. If I could stay in a moment with Jai's hug I would, absolutely. Having Jai in my life makes me want to be a better me. I want her to grown up feeling SO loved and having role models that she really looks up to and trusts and believes in.

Jeremy Alan...As if ONE GORGEOUS baby wasn't enough for the Phelps, they decided to double the trouble. Jer came into the world on January 20, 2009. I had the unparalleled privilege of being in the delivery room with Cass and Joel when Jer came out to join this world. There are no words. He was PERFECT! 2 months after Jer joined us he got VERY sick. In March 2009 Jer was hospitalized with RSV and pneumonia. It was the most difficult test this gorgeous little family could possibly face. Jeremy is named after Joel's older brother Jeremy who was tragically killed in car accident when he and Joel (and their 2 younger brothers) were just young boys. Jeremy Alan's life brought healing and restoration in so many ways. When he got sick it was terrifying. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks. My mom was actually with Cass for much of the scariness and fear in the beginning. After 2 weeks (the same length of time I was on a missions trip with MEI in Ukraine) Jeremy was good enough to go home! PTL! Jer's life since March has been a roller coaster of colds and breathing troubles and congestion. And he lives it ALL with a SMILE! He is UNREAL. Cass and Joel showed through this INCREDIBLY difficult time how STRONG and powerful their faith in God is. They leaned in and depended on prayer support, and the Lord to save Jeremy. I have to just shake my head when I think about the faith they demonstrated through that time.

With all of the troubles Jer has had in the past 9 months Cass and Joel have spent a great deal of time pondering what the best decision for Jeremy's lungs and breathing and healing, and for their family could be. Ultimately they have been directed towards OKLAHOMA! Joel's family is form OK and when jeremy has visited OKC 3 times since he first got sick his lungs are ALWAYS better and he is more relaxed and has a easier time breathing. So...they go.

Joel left at the end of November with his brother in law Dan and a U-Haul FULL of everything they own. Cass and the kids needed to stay behind for some family Christmas festivities and to tie up loose ends, but will be heading to OK THIS Friday December 11th.

I am SOOOO SOOOO proud of this family, MY family. They are SOOO close to my heart and I miss them with EVERYTHING in me! My life, our lives, will NOT be the same until we are all together again...someday, someway, somehow.

Cass I love you! I am SOOO SOOO SOOO blessed by you, thankful for you, and proud of you! I'll meet you in OKC, Chilis here we come! I am with you ALWAYS in Spirit and I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart. Being apart is GOING to suck! We both know that! But let's just keep TRUSTING and CLINGING to the Truth we KNOW. The plans God has for us is SO much bigger than anything we can imagine! I LOVE walking through ALL life's journey's with you my sister. I love you!

Prayer and Happy Thoughts for Cass this week as she heads to OKC on a plane, with the 2 kids (Jeremy currently has tonsilitis and is not feeling good at all). She needs TONS of love and prayers and words of encouragement!

If you get a chance check out their blog too: http://joelandcass.blogspot.com/

Feel free to send her messages of love and hugs and affirmation!

When 6 months turned into indefinite separation from my little family it all seemed to surreal. Now as the day approaches reality is settling in for all of us. Air Miles, cheap flights and summer vacations are our new reality. All I know is that there is someone who knows WAY more than we do who is in control of all of this. I will TRUST and SUBMIT even when it hurts.

Blessings to you ALL this Christmas season! More Christmas pics to come!

With ALL the Love You Can Imagine!

Ange

Reach Out!

Hello All! (Well...all MIGHT just be my mom and Cass and Stace...but here's hoping! LOL!)

It's been a few weeks since I have had the time or the energy to sit down and write a GOOD posting!

Since my last lecture week (Nov 2-6) we went for a 5 day Short Term Outreach in a town about 30 minutes away from the city, had a week of lecture on "Servant Leadership" coupled with a YWAM Cambodia National Conference, and this week we are 2 days into our "Clear Conscience" lecture.

I am a linear thinker...and so I will go back, before I can go forward! LOL! (That may or may not be THE metaphor of my life and my purpose in being here altogether!)

Short Term Outreach:

Along with my new Team India mates we left at 8am on Monday November 9th to head out to Toul Sambo (a small village 30 Tok Tok minutes from our base). We left the city and entered a land of rice fields and smiles!

Our assignment was to team up with a former YWAMer (Nutch) who has started a ministry in Toul Sambo teaching English classes in the evenings for free.

Because there are MANY more hours to the day we also helped out wherever and whenever we could in the village. We did everything from harvesting rice, visiting homes, teaching English classes, to running children's and youth programs, and demonstrating our SWEET dance moves! Yes, that's right everyone! What goes around comes around! Myrna and I made our sweet lovely MEI Ukraine team learn a hip hop dance routine for our trip last March and now here I am at YWAM and I have had to learn my own hip hop dance routine! Imagine "Shackles" by Mary Mary and a whack of Khmer give it all they have and 3 of us white folks in the back dancing (and laughing) at what we are doing! The crowds LOVE it! LOL!

On outreach we slept on the tile floor, used a "squatty" toilet, had no running water, and had to cook all our food outside. It was AWESOME! Seriously! It doesn't take very long to discover how much you appreciate the amenities of home. It is GREAT to gain perspective and be humbled about the way we live. By Friday we were all ready to head back to the city, but full of love and joy for the ministry we had the chance to play a part in! They have already invited us back in December to put on a Christmas program! :)

One thing that surprised me on outreach was how much FUN and JOY I found in teaching English! I remember having a conversation with Cass about how I was excited for YWAM but I just really hoped that they didn't make me teach English all the time just because I am a teacher! Well, like MOST things that I say in selfishness God took that and made it into something AWESOME! I LOVED teaching English! It was my FAVORITE part of the week! On 3 occasions I was able to go into the public high school nearby and teach English classes for 2-3 hours. It was life-giving for me! God really opened my mind and my heart to WHY He planned for me to be a teacher. I LOVE TEACHING! In all those sweet Khmer faces I couldn't help but see the MEI kids and miss their crazy antics and stories! I am just SO thankful that in my heart I was affirmed that the work that I am so passionate about is EXACTLY what I was made for!

5 days in Toul Sambo was enough to exhaust us for the weekend...SHOWER, BED, SLEEP!

Starting LAST Monday, November 16 we started a week of lecture on "Servant Leadership". In light of my revelation about teaching from outreach servant leadership was the PERFECT follow up topic for me. I am SO excited to be a teacher...and I know I have been BLESSED with a job teaching at the best school in all the world (MEI)! I also know that I want to be a WAY better teacher, leader, mentor, servant. Looking at examples of Abraham, Moses, Boaz, and the BEST servant leader of all time JESUS we uncovered the characteristics of a True servant leader (and the list is LONG!)

Fears God, not man; righteous, faithful, LOVES God, not greedy for power, obedient to God, loves to help their "family", fights for their "people", takes risks, walks in faith, HUMBLE, courageous, deals with conflicts, listens to Godly advice, love to serve, delegate both power and authority, indentify with their people and intercede for them, stand strong for the Lord in the face of intense opposition because they KNOW what God has said to them, value women, live with integrity, do the "right" thing, kind, compassionate, culturally sensitive and more!

I want to be these things! The areas that continue to prod at me humility, and fearing GOD NOT MAN! I can feel the refining process at work in me! And I like the changes so far, with MANY still to come!

During this week we were also given the GREAT privilege of attending the 2nd annual YWAM Cambodia National Conference here in PP. The speaker was David Hamilton...who, unbeknonst to me is a HUGE YWAM celebrity! LOL! He was INCREDIBLE! He shared MANY MANY stories of pioneering YWAM DTSs in Chile and Brazil. This is a man who LIVES BY FAITH! I was VERY inspired!!!

A GREAT surprise arrived in PP with David Hamilton! As he introduced himself and his entourage he asked Rob and Cy Wiebe "YWAMers pioneering an School of Biblical Studies in Chiang Rai, Thailand" to stand...Rob and Cy are missionaries sent out by South Abbotsford Church! MY HOME CHURCH!!! I have seen them and heard them speak on this ministry in Canada! I made my way over to see them and introduced myself! What a SMALL WORLD!! What a GREAT BLESSING for me!!! :) They IMMEDIATELY offered me a place to stay "WHEN" I come to Chiang Rai to visit them! Their LOVE and hospitality was an inspiration to me!

This week we are in "Clear Conscience" week. Our speaker is a former drug dealer and addict from the Philippines! He has some CRAZY stories about life before he knew Jesus and the steps he has had to make to repair broken relationships and make things right for the mistakes he made before.

This week also saw the arrival of 2 teams from New Zealand that are staying with us at our base!

This morning I was eating breakfast and I saw a "Kesler" jersey walk by...I leaned over to Emily and said...I think that was a Vancouver Canucks shirt! I got up and walked over to the young guy wearing it and asked if he was from Vancouver, he said YES! I said...I am from Abbotsford...and he said NO WAY...I AM FROM ABBOTSFORD!!! LOL! His name is Tim Silva. I don't know much more but it is just another hilarious way that God shows us that we are ALL family! :) The world is SOOO much smaller than we realize!!!

Some of you already have heard that I have German Measles...which causes red itchy bumps, swollen joints (like arthritis) and achiness in my body! Your prayers ARE working! I am starting to slowly feel better. I go back to the Dr. tomorrow for another check up and I hope to be all clear SOON! Keep those healing thoughts coming!!! :)

Being sick makes me miss Bren! There is NO ONE that can comfort like MY MOM! I am pretty homesick these days, for her, for Cass and the kids, for my BED! :) Renewed focus and attention to what I am doing is important for me!

God is GOOD to me and I am SOOO blessed!

Thank you for ALL your emails, notes, letters, cards, FB messages and more! I am the luckiest girl in the world! THANK YOU!

Much LOVE and BLESSINGS!

Ange

PS: Next time I will tell you all about my Christmas obesssion and why all the Khmer think I am Christmas Crazy!!! LOL! :)

Voyage to India!!!

Hey Everyone!

As some of you already know, I found out this week that for my long term outreach (6 weeks starting in February) I will be off to INDIA!!! I can't even believe it! :) I am VERY excited and the details are still all being worked out and although WHAT we are doing is not defined, we ARE going to India!

My team has 2 boys and 5 girls. Our leaders are Bethany and Ra who are FABULOUS and I am extatic that I get to spend my outreach with them! Emily (my Canadian home-girl) is also on my team while Kirsten is off to the Philipines and Anen (our Indian Hero) is off to Vietnam!

It has been a VERY exciting week here!

On Monday and Tuesday we had class in the morning (this weeks topic was RELATIONSHIPS!) and then we had the afternoons completely free because of the Water Festival, which is a HUGE holiday here in Phnom Penh. Thousands of people flood into PP from the Provinces to celebrate and to watch the Dragon Boat races down the Mekong River!! It is INTENSE (which is apparently my new favourite word, not replacing TOTALLY which is still my good old stand-by!) On Monday Kirsten, Emily, and Rina (one of our speakers from Battambang) all went on a Tuk Tuk ride along the river to see all the action. It was SO awesome! I felt blessed to be in the security of our tuk tuk and Ra (one of our leaders) was our protector the whole time! It was great to experience Cambodian national pride and celebration at its livliest! We were definitely a novelty anywhere we went as White girls! It's a SUPER easy way to get a smile...all we do is wave!!! :) And the response is hysterical laughter and bright smiles! :)

This week in class I learned SO much about where I am at spiritually and emotionally with regards to the relationships in my life. Relationships with my family, with my friends, with people in my past and with the men in my life, and with myself. We were created to be in relationship. We were created with the intention to be LOVED and cared for by the people in our lives. I have been SOOOO LOVED, by YOU GUYS, by my family, and by my friends, by my students, and teammates, and coaches, and mentors, and the list goes on and on. Unfortunately what happens in a world that is fallen is that we often learn wrong patterns for relationships some where along the way, whether it is with ourselves, with our families, with our friends, with our significant other, and with God. As blessed as I have been, and as loved as I have been it is in the area of relationships that I have been the most broken and scarred in my life. I have often unabashedly thrown my heart out into the open in search of someone or something or some relationship to fill the space in my heart that can only be filled by One thing.

My life in Christ has been a journey towards healing. I believe the BIGGEST reason I am here, in Cambodia, separated from the tangible and physical love of all of you closest to my heart is for this purpose, to be healed. The kind of love that it will take to heal the scars and wounds I have from the relationships and mistakes and misguided love in my past cannot be given to me from my family (as INCREDIBLE as they are), or my friends (who save my life daily in so many ways), or my students (as precious as they are), or even myself (I have tried SO hard, in earnest, to find that kind of love for myself for many years...only leading to greater pain).

The ONLY source for the healing and restoration of my heart is the Lord. And so I am here. :) God is definitely at work in me. He is showing me daily how much He loves me, and He is showing me the True definition of love. He is allowing me to be better at loving myself, simply because I am His, and He made me to be JUST who I am. (If any of you have access to a library you NEED to find the book You Are Special by Max Lucado it is INCREDIBLE!) I am learning how to love others better, with a love that does NOT rely on my own strength or feelings, but instead is a love for them from the Lord, to love people and see people the way He does, which goes against ALL my my selfishness and pride and conditioning, but is SO SO SO worthwhile!

I feel like I am being healed and prepared. Healed to be made whole, and restored. Prepared for whatever comes next in my life, in the way of relationships, that promises to be unlike anything I have experienced before. I am EXCITED to see what living and loving in my life will look like in the future.

Prayer and happy thoughts would be GREAT for:

Unity and the building of relationships on my Outreach team

We are off for a week in Tuol Sbow to teach English and love on wee gaffers, so just that we would love each and every little shining face in a way they know is different!

Energy, I am TIRED!

Greater and greater humilty...I am still in process and constantly being refined in this area!

I love you ALL! Bless you!!! HUGS and LOVE!!!

Ange